HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU WITNESS AN ASSAULT AGAINST A MINOR HOCKEY PLAYER THIS SEASON? 

HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU BE GUILTY OF ASSAULT YOURSELF?

Editorial By:
Robert Kirwan
President and CEO
Infocom Canada Business Consultants Inc.

 

   
The 2003-2004 hockey season was barely a few weeks old when the first, of what is expected to be many, assault headlines appeared in the Toronto Star. Unbelievably, a 38-year old father was charged with assault his 10-year old daughter after witnesses saw him grab her by the facemask and scream at her  as she came off the ice at a minor hockey tournament on Sunday, September 14. He apparently was upset with her poor performance in the game and she was soon crying and acting terrified of her father.

The father was immediately banned from attending future games and the mother took the girl out of hockey to relieve some of the pressure and media attention.

The details of the game are relatively unimportant, however it was a tournament game between Pickering and Windsor in which both boys and girls played on the teams. The report didn't state on which team the girl played, however, it did point out that the family had recently moved from the United States so the child could play at a more competitive level of hockey.

While condemning the action of the father in this incident, it was also stated that this kind of thing is very rare in minor hockey. Several people at the game indicated that it was the worst display they had ever seen.

For the record, what the father did was inexcusable and he deserves everything he receives as punishment. 

On the other hand, let's take a real good look at the incident and try to understand how we can avoid similar incidents in the future.

First of all, this writer has gone on record about how I feel about tournaments. To read the editorial on this topic, you can take a moment to click here. Tournaments are like mini-hockey seasons all condensed into three or four games over a two or three day period of time. By the time teams get into Sunday, every game is sudden-death, winner-goes on and loser goes home. This intensity is just too much for some people to take. Unfortunately, tournaments are often accompanied by alcohol which is enjoyed in between games. In addition, by the time you get into the final games of the tournament, you are playing the "best of the class" and it becomes increasingly difficult to win. Every move is scrutinized. Every mistake amplified. Every parent feels their spirit move into the body of their child and they feel the pressure. Some people explode. This 38 year-old man did and his daughter suffered severely from the public humiliation and pain. Now the entire family will suffer along with him for the rest of their lives. The girl will never forget the day her father was arrested and charged with assault.

The saddest part of this whole incident apparently was the reaction of the young girl. She was terrified of her father and was crying while he was yelling at her. She was devastated, humiliated and obviously utterly upset about disappointing her father. How will she feel about going back into another game after that incident?

Yet, I wonder how many other children were brought to tears by their parents that weekend, or the following weekend, or on any given night of the week? I wonder how many other children have to suffer the humiliation of being yelled at and humiliated by their parents about their performance on the ice? How many tears are shed each night?

But these tears are shed in the privacy of their family car on the way home. Or in the privacy of their living room or bedroom where there is no where to escape. How many of these "hidden bullies" saw the newspaper report about the 38-year-old man and pointed fingers at the assaulter - condemning him to the most severe punishment possible?

How many times will the readers of this editorial be guilty themselves of "verbally assaulting" their children this year? 

The next time you feel like yelling at your child, remember the 38 year-old in this editorial. Take a look at the editorial about why the child quit hockey (click here). Whatever you do, get control of yourself and ask if this is really what you want your child to remember.

 
 

 

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Infocom Canada Business Consultants Inc.
Phone: (705) 969-7215      Email
rkirwan@infocomcanada.com