“Welcome To Holland ! You’ll Be Here For A Long Time So Enjoy Your Stay.”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

Have you ever experienced disappointment in your life? Have you ever had any of your personal, family or career dreams go up in smoke?

   I suppose it’s only human nature to complain about how rough life is. After all, we never have enough money, or time, or opportunity to do everything we want. And so many of us recall times when we had to suddenly cancel a trip or dinner engagement because of some unforeseen happening.
  
   I meet a lot of people from all walks of life because of my involvement in education. Many of them tell me of how they had big plans in their life for wonderful careers, huge homes and plenty of fame and recognition. Those plans changed because of some major event that forced them to take on a whole new direction.

   I want to share a story with you today which shows us that if we spend too much time mourning our losses, or wishing we were somewhere else, we will miss out on so many of the special things that exist in our own life, even if it is not quite the life we had planned and dreamed about.

   This is an adaptation of a story is entitled, “Welcome To Holland ”. It was written by Emily Perl Kingsley, who was describing what it was like when she gave birth to a daughter with Down Syndrome. The message will touch the heart of everyone who remembers dreaming of a life that is much different from the one in which they are living.
  
   When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy . You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum; the Michelangelo; David; the gondolas in Venice ; and more. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting as you plan for this wonderful trip that will change your life forever.

   After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland .”

   “ Holland ?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland ? I signed up for Italy ! I’m supposed to be in Italy . All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy .”

   But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

   The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. It’s just not where you had expected to land.

   So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

   It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy . But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

   But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy ...and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

   And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

   But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy , you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland .

   Emily dreamed all her life about becoming a mother with a normal child and doing all of the things that mothers do with their daughter. But that’s not what happened and she learned to accept this change and enjoy everything about her new arrival. She was still a mother and this was still her daughter, only it was different.
  
   This story is not just about people who have children with a disability. It is for anyone who has experienced real pain in life. It is for anyone who has lost a loved one; experienced a divorce; been in an accident; is suffering from a life-threatening disease; had to move away from home; or any number of other major life-altering events. It is about making new plans and reading new guide books. It is about letting everyone else talk about their trip to Italy while you are taking time to enjoy the windmills and tulips of Holland .

   For no matter how much pain you feel, or how bad your situation may seem to you at times, there are always beautiful, special windmills and tulips in your world. All you have to do is stop mourning and accept that this is the way it will be.

   Welcome to Holland ! You’ll be here for a long time so enjoy your stay.

   Have a good week!