“I Want To Do It Myself”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

      One day, many years ago, I came upon a cocoon on an old log in my yard. The cocoon was moving and I could see that a butterfly was trying to break out of the cocoon to begin its short, but wonderful life flying among the flowers.
 
   I went up to the cocoon and gently pulled apart the opening to help the butterfly emerge. It appeared grateful for the favour as it burst out of the cocoon and onto the log where it stretched its wings in the sun. And then the saddest thing happened.
 
   Try as it might, this beautiful butterfly was unable to fly. It was unable to flap its wings and stumbled in its attempts to become airborne. Eventually it gave up and died.
 
   I then realized that my well-intentioned assistance in helping the butterfly get out of the cocoon actually caused the death of this beautiful insect. Nature, you see, created a cocoon that would be difficult to get out of precisely so that the wings of the butterfly would be strengthened through the struggle. By the time the butterfly battled its way out of the cocoon, the wings would be strong enough to allow the butterfly to fly. By pulling the cocoon apart, the butterfly was allowed to escape its prison, but once outside it didn’t have the strength to fly. Had I simply stood back and watched the butterfly struggle with the cocoon, the insect would have gone through the natural process of “growing up” and would have been strong enough to survive on its own. I was simply in too much of a hurry and did not allow the butterfly the time it needed to evolve.
 
   Memories of that afternoon watching a beautiful butterfly die because of my “help” came vividly to mind a couple of weeks ago during a trip to I made to Toronto with my granddaughter who just turned three years old. The two of us were on our way to visit her parents, her little sister, Hannah, and my wife (Grandma) who had been gone for over a week. We were all anxious to get together again and as I pulled out of Mamere and Papere’s driveway in Chelmsford , Hailee and I were both excited about the trip and couldn’t wait to arrive at our destination.
 
   When we completed the “SEVEN” hour trip to Toronto later that day the reunion was absolutely wonderful and I can sincerely say that I enjoyed every single minute of that long journey. I also realized that the butterfly emerging from a cocoon has a lot in common with a young child growing up. Just as it is with the butterfly, you must allow a child the opportunity to struggle and evolve, even if it means taking an extra couple of hours to get to Toronto .
 
   Hailee is at that “I want to do it myself” stage of life. And if you can just get over the “hurry-up syndrome” we acquire as adults, it is wonderful to witness. Who knew that the putting a straw into the hole in a juice box for the very first time could be such an earth-shattering event? Or being strong enough to actually open the fridge door for the first time? Or that putting on your own shoes – on the right feet no less – would be so satisfying?
 
   I will never forget the look on her face the day she was able to climb into my truck by herself. She finally stood up on my seat, holding onto the steering wheel and declared proudly, “I did it!” And when she could actually put her own seat belt on – what a moment!
 
   Have you ever watched a three-year old struggle to sip a McDonald’s milkshake through a straw? It is hard enough for an adult. And yet every time the icy solution touched her lips you could see the delight in her eyes. I learned that you can’t hurry a child through a milkshake.
 
   Yes, the trip to Toronto took almost seven hours. Her 5^th and final “pee break” came while we were caught in rush hour traffic on the 401. When I heard the dreaded “Grandpa, I have to go pee” for the third time in five minutes I knew I had no choice but to pull off on to the busy Allen Road. Soon we found a place where I could use my truck to shield her from public view and let her relieve herself in the grass under an overpass. I can’t wait for the right moment to remind her about what her grandpa had to do to make sure that she didn’t wet her pants. I think I will wait until her wedding day. It will be a good toast to the bride.
 
    We were both extremely happy to finally be reunited with the rest of our family. But as I pulled into the parking lot at the end of the journey I also felt a sense of sadness that the trip was coming to an end. It was a remarkable journey and definitely a highlight of my life. I just know that the next time I travel to Toronto , the five hour trip will seem empty without her.
 
   Have a good week!